Castle Freak (2020)
At long last, TRAPPO has returned with our review of 2020's Castle Freak, a remake of 1995's Castle Freak, which we accidentally reviewed back in January (it's a long story, and if you've listened to the episode, you already know it). So is the movie any good? Is it, as the cool kids say, "can(n)on worthy"? These are the questions we're trying to answer in the latest episode, as well as maybe one or two others, but that's neither here nor there. You want to know all about this Castle Freak movie, don't you? You want to know if it kicks substantial amounts of ass, or if it blows chunks, right? In that case, TRAPPO's got you covered, and all you have to do to satiate your rabid curiosity is listen to the latest episode below, or find it on Apple, Google, Spotify, RadioPublic, Pocket Casts or Anchor, so choose your own adventure and summon the Great Old Ones at your leisure...
That's it for now, but we invite you to join the conversation! Leave a comment below and tell us what you think of 2020's Castle Freak, tell us what you think of 1995's Castle Freak, or just tell us how you generally feel about freaks and/or castles. We're all ears! You can also send us an email if you're feeling a little more verbose and want to tell us your detailed philosophies on life, the universe and everything. And don't forget to visit the official TRAPPO Instagram for the complete experience.
One final note: we're back to our original bi-weekly schedule now, at least for the month of May and maybe beyond, since some recent setbacks and various real-world obligations are preventing us from maintaining a weekly schedule for the time being. But barring any catastrophic occurrences, we'll likely be back to the weekly grind by mid-summer at the very latest, so that's something to look forward to, I suppose.
Until next time, thanks for listening!
This movie sucks. It does a bunch of edgy crap to try to push buttons and be memorable, but the script is trash, nobody knows how to act, and the movie just looks cheap. All this talk of a big Lovecraft shared universe has gone nowhere because nobody wants more of this garbage. And leaving in the actor who played the professor saying “old great ones” was so lazy all around that it just illustrates how little anybody involved in this movie cared about what they were doing. Nobody caught that because nobody was paying attention. What a joke. The old Castle Freak was at least made with care. This remake was ambitious, at least in theory, but in execution it failed on every level. Maybe just preserving that fucked up sex scene out of context is the right call.
ReplyDeleteI’m fine with turning Castle Freak into The Dunwich Horror, but at least try to do a good job. Cheap ass movie can’t write good characters or do anything but string a bunch of dumb scenes together with some taboo titillating crap that fucking Glenn Danzig might think is pretty badass, but the rest of us aren’t horny adolescents anymore. And I think it’s just boring, too. This lazy shithead movie has almost nothing to offer. I think there’s a reason that “producer” Barbra Crampton didn’t even bother to film any kind of cameo for this turd. She knew better than to have her face permanently associated with 2020’s cinematic equivalent of a broken toilet in a rundown gas station bathroom, Castle Freak.
ReplyDeleteThe movie would have been an instant classic if the castle freak had taken the good doctor up on his offer and they both jut got high in that filthy tunnel together. The poor lady really needed to relax, and that heroin might’ve been just what the doctor ordered.
ReplyDeleteSpring is in full bloom. The sun is shining. Green grass and fragrant flowers swaying on the breeze. It’s a time of renewal and rebirth. A time that inspires the poetic-minded to create art that survives the ages, art to stir the soul and enrich the mind.
ReplyDeleteWhat better, more appropriate time than now to discuss “Castle Freak”, which is all about rebirth and renewal, the very heart of spring itself? The rebirth of a cult classic, thrashing madly in its own afterbirth, a wild and malignant thing as repellent as it is alluring, much like the professor’s beloved “old great ones” themselves as they return to our world at the film’s conclusion.
The horrible glory that claws its way out of blind protagonist Rebecca’s nether region in “Castle Freak” ‘s final moments is a perfect metaphor for the film itself; a violent act of creation (or re-creation), hideous and malformed, unwanted and unloved. And what rough beast, its hour come at last, slouches towards Albania to be reborn?
Is “Castle Freak” a festering pile of rotting garbage baking in the hot sun? Is “Castle Freak” a lo-fi wonder of excess and bad taste, a rarity in an age of safe blockbusters and cinematic comfort food? Is “Castle Freak” a gross miscalculation or a a blood-drenched bull’s-eye?
YES.
This movie’s trying too hard to be cool and messed up and I can’t take it seriously. Ooh, there’s a scene where the Castle Freak’s mother/jailer masturbates with the end of a whip! The Castle Freak’s gonna bang that blindfolded prick John, and he somehow can’t tell the difference between Sheila’s presumably average-sized vagina and the Grand Canyon between the Castle Freak’s legs! At the climax the Old Ones come back to our world and a one-eyed roast bead monster spills forth from our protagonist’s birth canal!
ReplyDeleteIt’s edge-lord crap that doesn’t serve the story at all because the story is paper-thin trash being acted out by a coterie of fools who can’t even bother trying to pretend that they’re not completely checked out on camera. The actress who plays the Castle Freak is the exception, but aside from the surely arduous makeup application process each day, that had to be the most exciting and liberating role in the whole production.
The original 1995 movie really is so much better on every level, and it blows this “bold reimagining” out of the water. It’s not even close. This is the kind of movie an awkward adolescent would watch and think “wow this is badass” and then re-watch as an adult and wonder why they had such terrible taste back in the day.
You guys pointed out the masturbation inception thing with the castle freak watching ladies play solo in two different timelines simultaneously and I can’t stop thinking about that. It’s so stupid and weird and I can’t believe that’s a real thing. Half of this movie is either the castle freak or that skeevy Marco guy peeping on naked ladies from behind crumbling walls. Why’s this movie such a pervert?
ReplyDelete