Good, Great or Garbage: "Florist" by Florist (2021) [Poll Closed]
(The poll is officially closed, and by a margin of 60% to 40%, 2021's Florist has officially been inducted in the TRAPPO Essentials Can(n)on. Thanks to everyone who voted! -D)
Good, Great or Garbage month continues here on the show that talks about stuff on purpose as we discuss 2021's self-titled fourth album from American indie folk band Florist. Is it good? Is it great? Is it... garbage? Here's the kicker, dear listener... you get to decide! That's right! Below you will find a poll asking you whether you believe Florist is worthy of inclusion in the illustrious TRAPPO Essential Can(n)on, so get voting! You've got one week to cast your vote and make your voice heard! The results of the poll will be shared at the beginning of our next episode, so that's exciting. The episode is also below, or you can find it on Apple, Google, Pocket Casts, RadioPublic, Spotify, Anchor and Amazon, so choose your own adventure and let's all have a good cry together...
And here's the album for your listening pleasure!
Join the conversation! Tell us below what you think about Florist by Florist, and while you're down there you might as well tell us what you think we should be talking about in future episodes of the show. Do you have any burning questions you'd like us to answer? Ask away! Maybe you just want to share some family recipes. That's cool, too. If you're feeling a little more verbose, you could always send us a lengthy email, which we always appreciate. You won't, but you can. And we're also on Instagram, if that's what you're into. Maybe we'll find some other social media platform on which we'll be roundly ignored in the future, but for now this is the best we can do.
Thanks for listening, thanks for voting, and be sure to join us again next week as Good, Great or Garbage month marches on!
I enjoyed listening, and it hit me in the feels more than once. So I voted yes. Put it in your cannon.
ReplyDeleteNO
ReplyDeleteI voted YES because I'm an agent of chaos. Also, I enjoy the music.
ReplyDeleteMY MONTE CRISTO
ReplyDelete- - - - - - - - - - -
. Quality bread (brioche if you’re ready for the big time)
. Dijon mustard (stone ground?)
. 2 tbsp. Oil (vegetable, canola, olive)
. Six large eggs
. 1/2 cup heavy cream
. 1 tsp. ground cinnamon (optional)
. 1 tsp. brandy (apple will do if you want to change up the flavor profile a bit)
. Orange zest
. Meat & cheese (most call for traditional ham & Swiss, but use what you want, who cares)
. Maple syrup (optional)
. Powdered sugar (optional)
-build sandwich (mustard, meat & cheese)
-place sandwich in fridge for 30 minutes (critical)
-mix eggs, cream, brandy & orange zest in pan
-place sandwich in egg mixture (soak 1 min. each side)
- immediately pan fry on medium heat on stove w/ oil, remove from heat when both sides are golden brown and sandwich is heated through with cheese melted
- (optional) cut sandwich, garnish with maple syrup and powdered sugar
It’s delicious. When made right with that maple syrup at the end, you feel like you’re eating a French toast Sammy. Decadent and wonderful.
Review that, you nerds.
Make episodes about music people actually want to listen to. So far your show is all garbage this month.
ReplyDeleteI’ve been using my grandma’s Angel food cake recipe for years now, and I’ve heard nothing but praise. It’s a pain in the butt to make, but it’s always worth the effort. You need some specialized equipment to do it right, of course, and a lot of people tend to psych themselves out when they read the steps, but it’s really not that difficult. You just have to go one step at a time and before you know it you’ve made a delicious Angel food cake. Here’s what’s up:
ReplyDelete(You’ll need a tube cake pan, hopefully one with a removable bottom, and a food processor to break down the sugar)
INGREDIENTS:
1 3/4 cup of white sugar
1/4 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of sifted cake flour
12 egg whites (room temperature)
1/3 cup of warm (not hot) water
1 teaspoon of extract of choice (vanilla is best, maybe almond)
1 & 1/2 teaspoon of cream of tartar
DIRECTIONS:
- heat oven to 350*
- spin sugar in food processor until SUPER fine
- sift half of the sugar with salt & cake flour, setting remaining sugar aside
- combine egg whites, water, cream of tartar and extract in large bowl and begin beating with balloon whisk at medium speed
- sift reserved sugar into mix while continuing to beat at medium speed until medium peaks are achieved. This will take a while, so be patient!
- sift flour mixture onto foam and carefully and slowly fold together with spatula until all is well incorporated
- spoon mixture into ungreased (VERY IMPORTANT! The mixture needs surface tension to rise!) tube pan and bake for 35 minutes
- cool upside down on cooling rack for 30 minutes before removing from pan
I would suggest serving immediately, because there’s really nothing better than fresh, warm Angel food cake, but if you want to decorate with frosting, then allow the cake to cool to room temp. first, otherwise the frosting will just run off, and nobody wants that.
I prefer to serve my cake basically naked, usually with a dusting of powdered sugar and a fresh coffee (I prefer a tall latte with a chocolate/hazelnut drizzle, but that’s me) on the side, but you can serve yours with a few scoops of good ice cream, which is also delicious.
A good Angel food cake is a versatile dessert, so feel free to experiment as much as you want as soon as you get the basic recipe down, and it will serve you well for the rest of your life. You’d be surprised how excited and impressed people often are when they realize you can make a mouth-watering Angel food cake. It’s quite a skill, and I even brought out this lovely recipe to help woo the young lady who eventually became my wife, so I’d say it works.
Bake one of these delicious cakes and you’ll see how amazingly talented my beloved grandmother was in the kitchen. You won’t regret it, guys.
I've got a recipe for you all to try. It's one of my favorites, and it's always a hit around these parts.
ReplyDeleteMAX POWER'S DRUNKEN PIZZA ORGY
First, you invite a few (or three or seven) close friends over on a Saturday night. You get your entertainment ready, whether it be a well curated evening of bizarre movies or an extended playlist of your favorite brain-melting music. Then you order a bunch of pizzas, at least five large pies with whatever the fuck you want on them. I would suggest over-ordering, because you're gonna get hungry again later and you're not gonna want to run out of greasy fucking food.
Then you all get really good and high. Obviously, I would recommend psychedelics, but if you just want to get toasted with some kind bud, then get to work on that. Edibles might be a better choice here, because you're going to want that shit to roll over you in waves throughout the evening. In fact, mixing psychedelics with edibles can be a lot of fun, as long as you separate the ingestion of the former from the latter by at least an hour. In my experience, you don't want to start in with the THC until the LSD is REALLY kicking in. It tends to enhance the experience in a really meaningful way, but proceed with caution, because if you're not used to any of this stuff, you might have a lazy, slow-motion freak-out on your couch. Some people have issues with nausea when they're on psychedelics, and the THC helps to ameliorate that issue, so it serves two purposes in this case.
When the pizzas arrive, try not to melt in front of the delivery person while you retrieve your food. And don't forget to pay for the pizzas with actual money. You should probably lay out your method of payment ahead of time, otherwise you might insistently try to force a polished stone or a broken remote control into a confused and concerned teenager's shaking hands as they stand in the doorway, wondering if they'll be able to outrun you if they need to make a break for their car. After that terrifying task is done, eat a bunch of that pizza and drink a bunch of water or tea or coffee or whatever the fuck else you and your gathered friends prefer to whet your gonzo whistles while you watch your insane movies or listen to your screaming noise playlist.
After that... well, just do whatever feels good. I'm not literally telling you to engage in an orgy. The title of this recipe is merely referring to the act of consuming large quantities of delicious pizza while being high as a fucking kite with your pals. But if your fucking pals feel like becoming "fucking pals" while you're cruising through this decadent bacchanal, then you might as well take things to their logical conclusion. Get creative. Transform yourselves into a gestalt entity that understands no boundaries of flesh or the illusion of the passage of time, only the endless circle of transcendent bliss that you have discovered burning within your interlinked souls. Or if you're a boring dummy, just pass out on the couch halfway through "Nekromantik".
After all of that's finished and you wake up the next afternoon and you all presumably haven't literally fused into one glistening mangle of limbs and erogenous zones, just have everybody pitch in and clean up the mess you've surely made. Then just move on with your lives. You're all adults (you'd better all be adults), so handle your fucking business. If everybody enjoyed themselves, then do it all again sometime. If not, then find better friends.
That's it. That's my recipe. Bon appétit, et amusez-vous, mes amis excités.
That’s not a recipe.
DeleteIt is so a recipe, oh anonymous one. Recipes don't have to conform to your rotten standards, chum.
DeleteCandied Bacon: you’ll need two large baking sheets, some parchment paper, and a package of your favorite bacon, along with a quarter cup of brown sugar.
DeleteLay a sheet of parchment paper on one baking sheet, then spread your bacon over the paper. Sprinkle the brown sugar evenly over the bacon, then top with a second sheet of parchment paper, and finally the second baking sheet. You want the second baking sheet to keep the bacon flat when it bakes in the oven at 325 degrees for 20 to 25 minutes.
Remove the bacon from the oven, uncover and let cool until you’re ready to enjoy the deliciousness.
That’s a recipe. Not your weird obsession with pizzas and drugs rambling. Try some candied bacon and stop taking LSD.
Thanks for sharing your complicated and valued recipe, concerned anonymous person, and although I'm a vegan, believe it or not, but I also understand the value of a good recipe. Allow me to share one of my personal favorites in the hopes that you will enjoy it for years to come.
DeleteThe Caramel Unicorn
What you'll need:
1 large bowl of melted caramel (warm, not hot)
-now you can make your own caramel if you're confident in your culinary skills, or you can buy your favorite brand from your local grocer. I am no great chef, so I opt for the latter. There are vegan options, of course, which I obviously prefer, but you clearly have no qualms with eating animal products, so I don't think that's going to be an issue for you.
2 one large bowl of finely chopped nuts
-these can be whatever nuts you prefer, and you can buy them pre-chopped or you can buy them whole and chop them yourself. I prefer to gently toast pecans on my stovetop for several minutes before chopping them, because I find that toasting really brings out a deeper flavor, but if you don't want to bother with the extra step, that's cool.
1erect penis
-in a situation like this, it would be best to shave your pubic area entirely, because it's going to be difficult enough to wash off any stray caramel as it is, and you don't want your partner dealing with a disgusting, sticky bush when this is supposed to be a fun and exciting experience for you both.
This is also why I emphasize warm caramel, because you don't want to give yourself second degree burns (at least) when you dip your erect member into a bowl of extremely hot caramel. Make sure the caramel is warm enough to be pliable, easily coating your penis, but not too cool and not too hot, otherwise this isn't going to be fun for anybody. Basic rule: if you can submerge your index finger in the caramel for ten seconds without pain, your more sensitive tissue is probably going to be fine.
Here's what you're going to want to do:
...Submerge your erect penis in the bowl of melted caramel. Make sure it's completely coated before moving on to the next step.
...Quickly submerge your coated erection in the contents of your second bowl, making sure to use your hands to pour the chopped nuts over your erection, until said erection is entirely covered in nuts and very little to no caramel-covered surface area remains.
... Present your beautiful and delicious Caramel Unicorn to your delighted partner. You can probably figure out whatever happens next. There are, of course, many variations that you can try. Various syrups or candy coatings can be substituted for caramel, which I would encourage if you're not too keen on the idea of submerging your penis into any hot, viscous liquids. Baby steps. I find rainbow sprinkles are often a fine substitute for chopped nuts if you're feeling more festive.
If it's somebody's birthday, you could always smother your member in whatever jam or jelly you prefer and coat it with bright sprinkles, then lie on your back and present your partner with a tasty treat while you sing "happy birthday" to them. The holiday variations are, of course, endless. Red, white and blue for the 4th of July, maybe even a few sparklers for a flammable twist. You could dye your penis for easter and "conceal" it in a nest of delicious cotton candy.
Those are just a few suggestions. Let your mind go wild! Experiment to your heart's content! As long as it's between two (or more) consenting adults, it's all good. And obviously you can adapt this recipe for female anatomy, so don't think I'm being sexist. For the vulva, I prefer to call it the Nutty Buddy, and if you want to get the breasts involved, I've always been partial to the moniker Rocky Mountains, but I hope you're clever enough to come up with more imaginative names.
You're welcome, and enjoy!
Fucking pervert
Delete